Secret Eating Exposed: How to Overcome Secret Eating

My husband had me in fits of laughter when he confessed his secret eating.

Not that it is a laughing matter for anyone who finds themselves doing the same.

We were laughing because of the way he was saying it in a rapid, comedic, self-deprecating rant.

Seriously, I bought two blocks of cheese and hid one behind some other items in the fridge, so you wouldn’t find it. Then I discover I had devoured an entire block of cheese in three days! What was I thinking? How pathetic is that? Why do I need to hide cheese from you?

On and on, the rant went on.

Are you a secret eater? You are not alone.

My husband is not alone in his secret eating.

Many people secretly eat, hiding their eating from loved ones, maybe waiting for their partner to leave the room or sleep before snacking begins. If this is you, know that you are not alone.

What is secret eating, and why do we do it?

Secret eating occurs when we purposefully consume food in private due to feelings of guilt, shame or fear of judgement.

We may wait until we are alone to eat or eat where we can’t be seen. There may be times we eat on the way home from a party or once others have gone to bed. Or we may hide our eating by putting evidence of our eating in the garbage or pushing it under other items in the garbage bin.

Although secret eating can be tied to emotional eating, where we may use food to cope with uncomfortable emotions, there is often a layer of body image concerns, weight stigma or fear of judgment associated with our eating or body, including feeling out of control around food.

The reasons for secret eating vary. However, it is often associated with diet mentality and food restriction.

Recognising and understanding the triggers for your secret eating is the first step in overcoming secret eating and building a healthier, more mindful relationship with food.

Bring your awareness to your eating habits

My husband said he could laugh and tell me about his mishap with the cheese as I wouldn’t judge him for his secret eating but rather help him see why he’d done it.

The thing is, he knew exactly why. He’d been under pressure at work and had worked long hours. He was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.

Through his awareness, he could direct his attention to what he could do to feel less exhausted and give himself more time to do things he enjoyed, rather than sneaking chunks of cheese after I had fallen asleep.

So many clients I’ve worked with are unaware of how they formed their eating habits.

Awareness that you are eating and why you are eating are important considerations to heal your relationship with food.

Just like my husband, with greater awareness and mindfulness, you may be able to catch yourself before your eating spirals out of control. Once he was aware of his behaviour, he could break the habit.

Breaking the cycle: 5 steps to overcome secret eating

Breaking the cycle of secret eating requires self-compassion, awareness and a willingness to explore the emotional triggers behind the behaviour.

Here are 5 steps to overcome secret eating:

Step 1: Know that you are not alone in your struggles with food and eating.

Step 2: Acknowledge that secret eating is not about lack of willpower. Rather, it often stems from unmet emotional needs or food restrictions.

Step 3: Expose your secret eating behaviour to yourself by recognising when and why you eat in secret.

Step 4: Practice mindful eating to reconnect with your body’s hunger cues and emotions.

Step 5: Challenge feelings of guilt or shame around food by cultivating a more balanced, non-judgmental attitude toward eating.

Being more aware of what, why and how you eat makes you much more likely to catch yourself before you fall into bad habits, such as secret eating. It can also help you identify when you need to seek emotional support or nutritional counselling to get back on track, as my husband did with his rant to me.